If the same issue keeps coming up, you’re probably talking about the wrong thing. That’s not a judgment,
it’s a pattern that belongs to you. And it’s one of the most common reasons teams stay stuck: leaders keep addressing
symptoms instead of
truth.
A manager says, “We need better communication.”
A CEO says, “People need to take ownership.”
A team lead says, “We need to be more proactive.”
And none of it changes.
Why? Because those are surface-level labels. They’re what people say when they don’t want to name the real issue. Here’s the truth: most breakdowns aren’t because people don’t care. They’re because people aren’t aligned.
Alignment isn’t “everyone agreeing.” Alignment is everyone being clear about:
what matters
what success looks like
who owns what
what the standard is
what will happen if the standard isn’t met
When those things aren’t clear, leaders start addressing behaviors that are actually just byproducts of confusion.
Here’s an example:
A leader calls someone out for being “negative,” when the real issue is that the person has been carrying too much and hasn’t been heard.
I have seen this happen with several of our clients. They do not take the time to ask enough questions to “dig in” to what is really the cause and the root of the issue. They stay stuck on the surface.
Or:
A CEO is frustrated that managers aren’t stepping up, when the real issue is that expectations were never agreed to, they were assumed.
This leads to disagreements, distrust and the violently recurring finger of blame. One CEO we worked with had a hard time understanding why no one ever followed through until we showed him the root of it was his ability to underinstruct and overdelegate.
Or:
A manager is annoyed about missed deadlines, when the real truth is: priorities were unclear, and the team is constantly reacting to last-minute decisions.
This happened on a team where the manager never set a deadline date because he felt like they were stopping the team from getting it done sooner. Yet, they really weren’t ever getting it done when he needed it done, let alone exceeding his expectations. He actually said: “I thought they knew that.” and yet not one person on the team could confirm knowledge of his “system”.
So instead of talking about the wrong thing (“be more proactive”), leaders need to talk about the right thing:
-
Who owns this?
- What does “done” mean?
- What are we prioritizing?
- What agreements have we made?
- What are we tolerating that’s lowering the standard?
This is the part most leaders avoid because it requires accountability. And accountability isn’t a “performance issue.” It’s a
relationship issue.
People don’t avoid accountability because they’re lazy. They avoid it because:
- they’re unclear
- they’re scared of being wrong
- they’ve been punished for bringing things up before
- they’ve learned that standards aren’t enforced consistently
When leaders talk about the wrong thing, people do one of two things:
- they comply temporarily
- they shut down and disengage quietly
Neither creates growth.
When you begin to have the right conversation that doesn’t just address the behavior, it addresses expectations, standards and responsibilities the team can begin to “Get SH*T done”.
Because the Right Conversation addresses the root.
It names the actual issue, without blaming, and it creates a shared agreement about what happens next. If your team keeps having the same conversation in different forms, here’s the hard question:
What are you avoiding saying out loud?
Because whatever that is…
that’s your next “Right Conversation”.
