I was curled up in a ball in the corner of my room. It was dark because I didn’t turn on the light. I was crying.
I was in middle school back east in Springfield Massachusetts. I had just moved in with my father and his three stepchildren. I had been living with my mom, stepdad, and sister and things were not going so well.
I got shipped to my father for six months right in the middle of the school year. You can imagine how well that went over with the kids in middle school. A chunky, awkward nerdy girl who is thrown into the lion’s den mid-year.
Yup, it was what you thought. Which led me to sit in the corner of my room, in the dark. Crying. I was drowning in the reality of my situation. I was miserable.
But I was miserable because I was facing the truth of my story. And that was my choice. This is not always the path of choice when people are faced with uncomfortable truths. For me, accepting I wasn’t popular at this school either (I had switched schools a lot) became a game-changer.
It was then, in a house full of older stepsisters and a brother, I figured it out.
It wasn’t on anyone else. It was on me. From that stage of my life forward, I took control. It didn’t always turn out like it should, like I had planned or what would have been best. But I learned. I accepted my responsibility and I held myself accountable for my success and failures.
Denial, the blame of others is only two of the other ways people can choose to deal with life.
Many people try to escape from reality. Many people think they can solve problems if they become someone else who may have nothing to do with the problems we face. Fame, wealth, position make us want to live like them.
We often try to be that person. We think if we can be like them, everything will be ok. Look how happy they are . . . on television, and in the newspapers. The truth is, famous people have strife in their life too, and perhaps more than you think.
And, the attractiveness of such idols (other people) is more real than you think. Look at the Kardashian craze. I remember Madonna, the Material Girl in the ’80s. And it is not just girls. Fonzie influenced black leather jackets, white t-shirts, and jeans, “look” across the country at how many guys went “Fonzie” on us. And there are still great influencers. Society has this interest in experiencing life through someone else’s success. I say – focus on yours!
This trend is often deceiving many people. Hiding from ourselves by becoming someone else will just never feel real or natural subconsciously, if nowhere else. But, it can be so much easier to hide behind a facade we have created for ourselves.
Personal achievement is directly proportional to the hard work you are willing to do to realize the dream into reality. Can you commit to “getting naked?” Getting comfortable with who you are from the inside out?
People practicing personal deceit are often unable to distinguish between dreams and reality. Many times it is about not accepting your own responsibility in things. Maybe because somewhere in the back of your mind you think or feel like a failure or making mistakes makes you less than what you want to be. Maybe being wrong in your past has been thrown at you without reason and you balk at it without even thinking.
The bottom line is this: You must take a good hard look at yourself and what part of it is you, BEFORE you ever look at, assign, or blame anyone else. I mean you can only make choices for yourself, no one else. So why not start with that?
You must turn a dream into an action plan to succeed and make that dream a reality in your life. Dreams are abstract. Realities are concrete. Stop thinking that being like someone else will solve your concerns – it won’t. Be you. Do you. Embrace you. All of you!
In the corner of my room, I was crying, but that crying led to resolving. And sometimes not so good situations can motivate us, teach us and influence a better future.
So, now what? I think it is about looking in the mirror and “getting naked”. Being real with you! Getting to know you from the inside out. Knowing every part of you and being responsible and loving for yourself. Here it is in three simple steps:
Know yourself more than just understanding your character. To know yourself is not always an easy job. I believe it is about beginning with scientific evidence of who you are from the inside out. What is your communication style, what are your observable behaviors? What is your value to the organization? What is the best environment that will feed your drivers?
Dare to be responsible. Be responsible to take ownership of all of you. When you can work with a coach that uncovers your “naked” be willing to own the good, the bad, and the ugly. Be willing to invest in learning more about you scientifically through the 5 proven sciences of self.
Be proud of yourself. Many people need to develop their self-confidence. This is normal, this could have been caused a year ago in your life path. So often unresolved historical experiences are blocking us from achieving our greatness! Who we think we are is holding us back from being who we are meant to be!
Finally, try to forgive yourself. Look, we learn more from our mistakes than our successes. SO what is life without them? Now, I get it. When we get to a pattern failure, this is a different story. This requires some real change. But, mistakes are normal. So allow yourself to learn, to make mistakes.
Looking on the inside to understand yourself, to see the effects your actions have around you is vital to becoming the best YOU, you can BE!
Take the time to KNOW how you respond, what is important to you, and how to be true to that. You are your biggest supporter, fan, and champion. Take that seriously. Because only YOU can direct your life and its success.
We can begin your journey with accurate, detailed information about your scientific self. When you get your report you will feel like we are inside your head and your heart!
Get your Greatness on, I know you have it in you!