“The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.” – Tony Robbins
You have to be in control of your life or it does control you. What does that mean?
First, let’s talk about how pain and pleasure can use you. Let’s say ice cream is your favorite dessert. And instead of using control and eating it sparingly, maybe just on special occasions, you eat it every night.
Eventually, you get fatter, or maybe you don’t sleep well due to the late night sugar intake. You might even eventually get diabetes if you eat enough. You probably have to eat more sugar than just ice cream, to get diabetes, but I think you get the point. Because your pleasure is controlling you – other things may get pushed out of control which will cause you pain.
And we have all been there at one time or another, in different ways. I know I struggle with ice cream. It used to be my comfort food. I went from eating it when I celebrated at birthday parties and when going out to using it to bring that joy back into my life when I was down. It sounds crazy, but think about it. When you eat ice cream at a party, you experience joy.
And when you are in the dumps, doesn’t it make sense you would seek the things that made you happy? How easy is it to scoop up a bowl of ice cream, sit in your favorite chair and dig in? This is a perfect example of how both pain and pleasure can control you.
On the other hand, let’s say someone else gets the promotion you were working hard to achieve. It is painful. Instead of moving on and rising up, you allow your pain to control you and you become less of an employee than you were before. You start thinking, “Why bother.”
Here, you have allowed pain to change who you are for the worse.
Instead, here is how you can take both situations and turn them around to serve you.
In the case of the ice cream. Make it a reward and earn it. Tell yourself you can have ice cream when you have hit the gym three times in a week. What? You don’t go to the gym. Well, then maybe you make it a weekend only treat. That would work too!
As far as getting passed over for a promotion. Let this motivate you to take a look at how you can improve your chances next time. You never know, this promotion may have passed you by, because the next offer is much better suited for you.
The bottom line is there is good and bad in everything. How you learn to handle this and make it what you need is crucial. Not knowing how to take your pleasure and pain and make it serve you is limiting your success.
Learn to make decisions that bring the best to you. Take control of your life and be determined to make it what you dream it to be. Take the time to understand who you are in all of your moments and make sure you are not allowing your pleasure and pain to control you. Instead, make sure you stay in control every day. One day at a time.
And this may mean, learning to do something different.
Until you understand who you are right now and how you make your decisions, you have no control. Take time this week to identify your behavior style so you can take control of your life and make it what you deserve.
Love,
Shari
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